1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?

Hm. Elaborate revenge schemes that would probably take years of preparation, so by the time the actual revenge thing happens, everyone involved will have forgotten what it was all about in the first place. Including me.

2. What would you consider to be the one thing that would turn you off from dating someone?

A big ego. Really. It doesn't matter if they think they're so much better than me, but they don't have to go and keep saying it over and over and over again.

3. Have you ever seen someone die?

I've seen dead people, but never seen someone actually die.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

Not confused. Scared, sometimes, sure.

5. What's your ideal lover like?

Hum. Witty, intelligent, a good conversationalist. Someone who can keep me interested.
Ah yes, and the sex has to be amazing.

6. If you won 5 plane tickets to go visit your LJ friends, who would they be?

Probably Leyla, but I go visit her either way.

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?

That would depend on how much I like them. If I like them just averagely, I'd probably give up after two or three days.

8.If you could live with one Presidential candidate who would that be?

Not a clue.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?

The prospect of being stuck in a dead-end job for the rest of my life, but I can fix that.
And a fight with a dear friend. Or someone who used to be a dear friend.
We're trying to fix that.

10. What do you want most in life?

Making a living of doing the things I want to do, whatever they are at that moment. I don't want fame. I don't even want to be rich. I just want to be able to survive on doing things that I enjoy doing, like writing.

11. If you could go anywhere you wanted in the world, where would you go?

I firmly believe that I can go anywhere I want to in the world, and I fully intend to. I've got maybe sixty years left to live, if I'm lucky, and I want to spend them seeing everything there is to see in the world.

12. If you were stuck on an island, who would you want with you there?

Mh. A bunch of cute girls and boys, and a robot-bartender who never runs out of drinks.

13. How do you know when a decision is the right one?

You don't. How would life be any fun if you did?

14.What kind of person do you think you are?

What kind of question do you think you are?

15. Do you believe there is nothing higher than human kind?

Definitely not. I'm a huge follower of the theory that Nature just put us here to destroy everything, so that It/She could start all over again.

16. If someone dislikes you and you feel it, do you automatically dislike them?

Most of the time yes, actually.

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?

Probably not. Always have escape plans.

18. Do you have a motto? If yes which one?

Que sera, sera, I guess. Or the word eventually, because eventually, everything works out one way or another.
My motto for other people, on the other hand, is Comply!

19. What type of friends do you like?

The kind I can count on and confide in.

20. What's your latest obsession?

Mh. Not sure I should share my obsessions. :p

Blegh.

Canhoto, my NaNoWriMo novel, is still stuck at somewhat under 25,000 words. I should write more.

I mean, I shouldn't even bother or try to get published anymore, but just finish the damn thing to have at least one finished NaNovel and to please all my friends who start whining every year when I start a new one "But how did that other one you wrote last year end? :("



Also I think Chuck Palahniuk may be my new god.

As promised, I'm posting my story that I wrote a few months ago for Defenestration here. Hope at least some of you enjoy it.

( The One-Balled Dictator )

Ladies and Lords,

I have returned from hibernation. And do I have news!

I did not succeed in NaNoWriMo.
My shortstory for Defenestration was rejected.
I lost weight.
I indulged in sexual deviations (not that that's new)
I bought a notebook, for scribbling down notes. Or sketches. Or diary-like events.

Anyway.

That's about all.

Check my notebook!

Hm. So I haven't been around too much lately, but last week has been a bit weird for me.

First of all, Liz dumped me. Which is... good for her, really. She deserves better than me.

Second of all, monday evening I forgot how to read. Or write. Or talk. Add to that a giant blind spot in my field of vision and a tingly feeling all over my hands and face, and tell me if you see why I was slightly worried.

Soooo. Adam went to the doctor. Doctor took blood (hate hate hate) and told Adam to go see a neurologist. Adam complied.

Turns out I have migraine with aura. Whoopdeedoo. Who knew you can have migraine without headaches?

Because I didn't!

Anyway, I have to start taking pills pretty soon, for six months. ("They might or might not work, though. Migraine is a funny thing.")

My NaNoWriMo schedule has also gone to hell, since in the past week I wasn't able to focus on anything for longer than ten minutes. Neurologistman believed I've had this migraine for years, and said it's very common for "people like me" to lose interest and get distracted easily.

"And, who knows, maybe if you'd come sooner, you wouldn't have dropped out of college."

...
Thank you, Mr Typical Big City Hospital Doctor.



Blergh.

Hello my pretties. Did you miss me? I sure missed you!

I suppose I'll share what I've been up to lately, so this post might get a bit long and might not be very suitable for those tender-hearted readers.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but my hormones have been out of control - much to Liz's discontentment - but I don't see it as entirely my fault that the situation has come to a point where I find sex with her to be boring.

So Adam blithily suggested to go to a swinger club, even though Adam gets the shivers of everyting that's over 27 years old and naked. Man, the convincing I had to do.

After of course explaining to her wat a swinger club actually is. And for you innocent little children who wonder the same thing, Wikipedia is your friend. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinger) 

Anyway. There were a lot of old people. And they stared.

"I'm going home," Liz said after about fifteen seconds.
"But," I countered intelligently. "We just got here."
"You stay then."

And so I did. Incidentally, I think it's rather childish of her to be mad at me and make a scene just because I do exactly what she tells me to do.

After a while I got bored myself, but at least there was a jacuzzi. So in I jumped, full frontal nudity and all that.

Why who should stare back at me but my old school friend Steven and his girlfriend Jenny? They looked so hilariously shocked that I couldn't help but snigger.

I love awkward silences.

"Soooo," Steven ventured. "You're here too, huh?"
"Yup."
"I see."
"We're just here for the jacuzzi," Jenny chimed in.
"I bet you are," I nodded.

Haha. Later I walked in on them having a threesome. Jacuzzi my ass.

All in all, the whole thing was rather disappointing - and not just because I wasn't involved in aforementioned threesome. I think I might just be bored with straight sex lately. Perhaps I should go to a gay bath house, but the thought of naked elderly gay men fills me with more loathing than the thought of naked elderly couples.

I told Christopher, and he wouldn't mind going to a bath house with me. (Actually, he was a little bit too enthusiastic about it to my liking.) We're going friday. This might turn into one of those I'm-not-gonna-tell-your-boyfriend-if-you-don't-tell-my-girlfriend things.

So. Last night I told all of this and more to a friend I've known and liked for well over three years. The conversation turned to talking about sex, and in a moment of pathetic honesty I told him how I would definitely not mind having sex with him.

Oops.

Never did someone tell me "no wai lol nevar" in so many words, though. I'm more upset about it then I would've thought, and the entire conversation made me feel all nervous and awkward.

(By the way, I do see the humour of the fact that I can jump butt-naked into a jacuzzi in front of two acquaintances and find it hilarious, but get really awkward when talking about my feelings. That's why I rarely do the talking-about-feelings bit.)

But then.

Adam:
hey you
Adam:
cheer me up damnit
Adam:
I got rejected
Dorian:
but you have lots of rampant sex
Adam:
yes, but nevermind that
Adam:
*insert name* rejected me
Dorian:
well
Dorian:
good
Dorian:
he should stay a sweet distant fantasy
Adam:
... no he shouldn't
Adam:
I've wanted it for three years damnit
Dorian:
be happy
Dorian:
maybe it wouldn't be that good
Adam:
you mean how could he possibly live up to three years of masturbation fantasies?
Adam:
i think it's because of the booze and the drugs and the cigarettes and the rampant gay sex
Adam:
I mean he says it's because it'd be awkward because we know eachother this long
Adam:
but I think that's a load of bollocks
Dorian:
no it's not
Dorian:
I've had it happen
Adam:
whose side are you on anyway?

Grm.

Sadly, I think he might be right. Not that I like it.

In other news, I think I need to write 10 000 words today if I want to catch up again with NaNoWriMo. (boo) Because tomorrow I'll be seeing Stardust again, with Renzo this time. (yay)

I don't think I can do it, actually. Ten thousand is like... ten times thousand. Yeah.

Peace 'n luv. x

Coffee Count: Thirty One
Cigarette Count: Eighty Four
Word Count: 13 679

Wrote exactly ten words today. Which is good, according to the NaNoWriMo pepmail.

I was having scandals.
Oh, the scandals I was having.

So scandalous they were.

Coffee Count: Twenty-Seven
Cigarette Count: Sixty-Nine
Word Count: 13 669

Pfff. I'm slacking. It's no good.

Also, more real-life updates soon. Promise. x

Coffee Count: Twenty-Two
Cigarette Count: Fifty-Five
Word Count: 12 268

Haven't written a whole lot today. Ah well.

Finished Chapter Three, at least.

Coffee Count: Nineteen
Cigarette Count: Forty-Eight
Word Count: 11 221

Huzzah. Halfway the first major plot event.

So I went to do the temp job today, even though I'm still ill - and to be perfecty honest, I have better things to do, like writing a novel.

Anyway.

"Oh dear. You look rather ill. Are you ill?"
*cough cough cough* "Yes. Yes I am."
"I thought so. You look even more shabby today."
"Um. Thanks."
"No, no. I mean, normally you don't look this shabby. It's a compliment!"
"... yeah. Thanks."

Hehe.

PJ:
adam
PJ:
wii
Adam:
yes
PJ:
adam wii
Adam:
I do have a wii
PJ:
michelle likes your wii
PJ:
can she come and play with it?
Adam:
sure
Adam:
but not today
Adam:
because I'm rather ill
Adam:
with fever and everything
PJ:
ah but today is no good anyway
PJ:
can we play with you?
PJ:
is there a chicken under your chair?
PJ:
or under your F8 key?
PJ:
it's actually a worm
PJ:
in the butt of the chicken
PJ:
poor chicken
PJ:
does crucio have worms in his butt too?
Adam:
myeah
Adam:
I'm gonna block you for a while now

People should just bugger off and die, really.

Coffee Count: Fourteen
Cigarette Count: Thirty-Seven
Word Count: 9089

And yet again I fail to reach my personal goal of ten thousand words. Not that 9089 is that bad. Especially when one is burning up with fever and coughing his lungs out.

Started Chapter Three. First plot development within reach.

Oooooooh.

- Adam out

Coffee Count: Eleven
Cigarette Count: Thirty
Word Count: 5780

Bleh. I was hoping to reach 7000 words today.

And also. I started Chapter 2 with a nice dream-sequence. Highly relevant to the story, and all that.

Robin:
you know what would also work
Robin:
to boost your word count
Robin:
like, a recurring dream sequence
Adam:
bah. am I that predictable? :(

The answer seems to be yes.

( Chapter Two, Part One )

I'm rather ill at the moment. Besides the physical uncomfortableness, it's also jumbling up my thoughts. Which is not a good thing when you're bravely attempting to write a novel.

But Adam Soldiers On!

After he takes some pills and a long, warm shower.



Also, I have no idea what yesterday's horror movie was in fact about. From what I gathered the main character was a twink covered in blood, running around and showing off his tight bum at several occasions.






Yeah. Blood or no blood, I'd shag him.

Oh yes.

Coffee Count: Seven
Cigarette Count: Nineteen
Word Count: 4422

Maybe I'll write more today, but I'm watching a bad horror movie called Shallow Ground.

I like bad horror movies.

Coffee Count: Two
Cigarette Count: Seven
Word Count: 1888

( Author's Introduction )

Also birthday summary:

There was booze and drama.



That is all.

in which Adam bothers two friends to provide him with a word or phrase so that he may write a crappy short-story based on said word or phrase

Actually, it's practice. NaNoWriMo is starting the day after tomorrow, so I figured I'd better practice my speed-fluff-writing now, since I intend on being shit-faced drunk for the better part of the day tomorrow.

I'm confident that Canhoto will be better than these two short monsters, because at least I have somewhat of a plot outline for NaNo this year.

The titles are the phrases my friends gave me.

( I Am Lost )

( The Cake Is A Lie )

The 3 Variable Funny Test
Your Score: the Wit

(52% dark, 26% spontaneous, 26% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

...
Not sure if I like being compared to Woody Allen.

---

The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test
Your Score: Der Kommandant

Achtung! You are 23% brainwashworthy, 45% antitolerant, and 52% blindly patriotic

Opportunistic, patriotic to a fault, and not so fond of people who aren't just like you, you are like a Nazi General. Back in Germany in the 1940's, you would have been at the top of the asshole list. Not for Nazism, necessarily, but for your own sick, twisted values. Then, out of superior intelligence (relative to other Nazis, that is), you would've climbed to the top.

Conclusion: you would have been a Nazi, and most likely would have served them well.


Heil myself, heil to me...

Today I came to the sad realisation that I miss my mother. Coincidentally, today is the first day I did my own laundry.

Like, on my own.

Not that these two things are in any way connected to eachother. Not at all.

So in an unsuspected moment of tremendous
emoness
weakness, I called her and asked her if she would like to go out to dinner with me on my birthday. I expected her to be overwhelmed with joy.

So I was slightly insulted when she merely said: "Mh, let me think about it, I'll let you know tuesday night."

I mean, what the deuce.

But now, on to more exciting tales of human interest! Me and my friend Renzo went out to dinner yesterday night. Well, that was the plan anyway.

Instead we just wandered around the city for about an hour, trying to find a place that wasn't closed. I mean, it was a saturday night. Don't restaurants want to make a profit anymore? Are they now opposed to contributing to our economy?

We settled for pizza and got drunk on half-expensive wine that was paid for with my kitchen-adventure money. There were epic conversations.

"You know Adam, if not for the smoking and the drugs and the b... well no, not the booze, I can live with that, but if not for those things, you'd be perfect."

Most awkward compliment ever.

And then there was a party, with lots of whiskey-cola. And vodka-cola.

And beer.
It did not mix well with the rest.

Funny thing though. One of Liz' friends is claiming I snogged a guy at the party, while I must certainly did not.

At least, I don't remember it, and he doesn't remember it. Incontestable proof that it didn't happen, no?

So. Um. Went to bed at about 4:30. Woke up to the Phantom of the Opera tune on my cell phone at 9:30. Who knew temp people worked on a sunday? Apparently my kitchen adventures will continue next week.

The rest of the day was rather dull. Did the laundry. Got stoned with a friend. Watched the Family Guy Star Wars Special on his computer, as well as some Flight of the Conchords episodes.

Flight of the Conchords are amazing.

- Adam out

Buh. Liz wanted some quality time, so I took her to see Stardust. Not that she really wanted to see it - she hates fantasy, I mean, even more than I hate fantasy - but I guess she was happy with the whole getting-attention-from-the-douchebag-boyfriend thing.

I mean, who wouldn't be. I'd be happy getting attention from myself.

Haha.
(Adam, get over yourself.)



Right.

This movie is brilliant. No Elves. No Orcs. Only Witches, Princes, Sky Pirates and Englishmen (and women, of course). And Prince Septimus. And Peter O'Toole.

And probably the best sword-fighting scene I've seen in my life. Like, ever.

Mh. And Michelle Pfeiffer.

*moan*

Anyway, the girlfriend liked it, I think. I'm not sure if she saw a lot of it, what with all the attempts at hand-holding and cuddling and snogging. I tried not to be too rude, but she was practically forcing me to.

"This is nice, isn't it?"
"Mhm."
*leaning in close* "I think it's nice."
"..." (Shut up!)
"You know my friend Sam, the one that used to date Michael? Like, the other night she texted me, being all 'Oh I want him back', you know, drama drama."
"Hmh." (Shut up, trying to watch this.)
"Yeah... Adam?"
*grunt* "Yes?"
"What's the matter?"
"What? Nothing. I'm just trying to watch Michelle Pfeiffer."

Pff. I like the girl, and she's nice and all, but it wouldn't kill her to shut up once in a while. I suppose I upset her, because she didn't feel like coming over/sleeping over afterward.

Eh.
She'll get over it.


Have a picture of Crucio, the Panda Cat.